Leash

"I can't imagine it."

"No seriously," I insisted, "this kid use to party hard. He taught me how to shotgun a beer..."

A voice in the front seat laughed, "talk about a role reversal."

"I still can't imagine it."

"Well, its the truth."

"Why doesn't he do it anymore?"

"Well," a voice to my left joined in, "he has a girlfriend now, bet she's keeping him on a shorter leash."

I found myself wrinkling up my face at the thought as I crawl out of the car from the middle seat and follow my friends into the store, "That's so dumb, why would you consent to that? Doesn't she trust him? Why can't he just do his own thing..."

"Maybe she doesn't party and she's alienated by him having something she can't."

"She doesn't have to go if she doesn't like it..."

"Or maybe she just tells him no."

"I don't know why you'd consent to that..."

"Well, she IS pretty hot."

I'm at a loss here. Who am I to judge the hotness of other women? I'm not the target audience..."

"Really?" I try, "hot enough to be worth THAT?"

"Well I don't know," he says, "besides, these things are somewhat necessary you know? You can't really have a relationship without some form of..."

"No way,"

"Wait, you mean like leather leashes and kinky stuff?" another voice asks.

"She's worth it too," the first voice continues, somewhat unaware of the second, "I'd..."

"Shut up," Gadget interrupts. He doesn't want to leave the box of wires and chips he is sorting through but he very obviously doesn't want to be near us.

"What Gadget? You embarrassed by us?"

"No," he says, "you're just all very rude and loud."

***

I've got one hand out, fingers brushing the labels on the boxes of keyboards and capacitors as I walk past. I'm such a stereotype, but the simple tactile input is soothing. Rounding a corner of boxes I nearly slam into Gadget, still lost in thought. He looks at me like he's expecting me to say something now.

"I found a box of big capacitors," I inform him, "they come in bags for a dollar. You want to blow some stuff up with them?"

Gadget smiles and I show him the bin. A few seconds later we are picking our way to another part of the store for him to show me his greatest find: a small blue case with handles like a suitcase. Inside is space and a rack for mounting about 2U of server.

"Its times like this," I say, "where the part of me inside that's a little kid kills me. I just want to climb up and jump from storage shelf to storage shelf."

Gadget smiles, "Yeah, me too." Sometimes I wish he did not work for me so we could be better friends. He understands most everything about me except my outlook on romantic relationships.

"You think that's true?" I asked, "About leashes in all relationships?"

Gadget becomes absorbed in the clasps on one of the boxes.

***

"Good," Crash said, "I didn't like him."

"I don't care what you thought of us."

"Aww, come on Pikachu. He was no good for you! He wanted to control you, see? But Pikachu is wild and free, no man will ever tame her..."

***

"It's me or the team."

I'm appalled. "How can you say that? I'm changing these kid's lives, you have no idea."

"You're wearing yourself out and you're cranky at everybody. I never see you anymore."

"We'll work out a compromise..."

We did, briefly, but it wasn't really the same after that. You can't really take back an ultimatum. The day he told me he was breaking up with me he cried. For some reason I didn't, although I did later when he wasn't around.

***

I'm standing on a roof now in California, cell phone in hand.

"Its me or your work," the voice on the other end says.

Different voice, different day, same situation. I didn't even hesitate this time, "Guess I'm single then."

"I...I didn't mean that...we'll...work it out..."

***

They say fall is most beautiful in New England, but the Midwest has a charm to it too.

"You always said you wouldn't change for me, that you were 'take it or leave it.'"

"I meant...about big stuff...my volunteer work...or my job... the little stuff, I mean, who cares? That stuff is so easy..."

"No."

Maybe I overdid it.

***

I'm so glad we took the effort to clean this couch properly. I'm sprawled across it, face down, pretty much exhausted from my day, barely moving. Pacem sits on an adjacent couch. A few seconds ago he was absorbed by the game but now its commercials.

"You think that its true? That mutual leashes are a part of every relationship?

Pacem acts quite absorbed in the Honda commercial.

"You've seen this fucking commercial a hundred times."

"I can watch it again."

I hush up to ask politely, still somewhat sulking like a spoiled child, "Answer it, please."

Pacem sighs. He'll make a good doctor someday. He's very good at telling people things they don't want to hear.

"Yeah Pika, its in a little of every relationship. I think its just a fact of life."