Omegle, for those of you who are not familiar with it, is a javascript website chat client which randomly pairs you with another user completely anonymously.
This has been a ton of fun as I get people from all around the world, and also because most people on omegle aren't particularly ambitious cooks. This means I have a list of interesting dishes now which, for the most part, aren't very hard to make.
Here are a selection of some of the most interesting recipes I have gathered. I have tried, whenever possible, to list the original source of the recipe if it was not directly from an omegler's memory. Thank you so much to everybody who helped with this.
Northeastern China
Name Unknown
Boil sweet potato or bean noodles in water. Slice dried hot peppers into pieces and sauté them in the oil. The oil of preference is called “red oil” and apparently provides some of the flavor in this dish. Add water, salt and peanut butter. Mix this together. Add more peanut butter and red oil. Add white vinegar, sugar, and small slices of garlic. Mix this and enjoy.
Göteborg: Sweden
Smulpaj med Äpplen (Äpplepaj)
Combine 150 grams of butter, 3 desi liters of flour, 1 desi liter of sugar, and 3-4 apples finely chopped. Sprinkle cinnamon and sugar on the top. Bake for 20 minutes at 200C.
Florida: USA
Carne Guisado Columbian Stewed Beef
1 lb flank steak
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
4 garlic cloves
2 teaspoons ground cumin
6 roma tomatoes
2 medium onions
2 beef bouillon cubes (prefer Maggie or Knorr brand)
2 cups water
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon pepper
Directions
Heat the oil in a skillet and sauté flank steak until browned.
Remove from the skillet and sauté chopped tomatoes, thinly sliced onions, minced garlic and cumin until veggies are tender.
Add the flank steak, water, bouillon, salt and pepper.
Allow to simmer on low until tender and meat pulls apart with a fork.
Pull the steak apart into bite sized pieces.
Allow the sauce to cook down to desired thickness for serving on rice, or add more water depending on how much it has cooked down.
Credit for recipe to: http://www.recipezaar.com/Carne-Guisado-Colombian-Stewed-Beef-104545
Brazil
Caipirinha
Get "cachaça", or vodka, lemon (preferably "tahiti" which are green), sugar and ice. Juice the lemon and add the vodka and sugar. Serve over ice. You can sub out strawberries for lemon, but lemons are apparently the classic version.
Vermont: USA
Maple Balsamic Vinaigrette Salad
Make a regular green salad. For a more Vermont spin add beets and roasted walnuts. For the dressing combine 2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil, 2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar, 2 tablespoons of pure maple syrup (no fake substitutes!), 2 tablespoons grainy dijon mustard, 1 tsp apple cidar vinegar. This makes a fairly small batch. Whisk all of this together until it is mixed. Serve over the salad.
Shanxi Provence: China
Meatball meal
Meatballs:
2 lbs. ground beef
1 c. corn flakes crumbs
1/3 c. parsley flakes
2 eggs
2 tbsp. soy sauce
1/4 tsp. pepper
1/2 tsp. garlic powder
1/3 c. catsup
2 tbsp. minced onions
Sauce:
1 can jellied cranberry sauce
1 (12 oz.) bottle chili sauce
2 tbsp. dark brown sugar
1 tbsp. lemon juice
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Mix meatball ingredients together. Make small meatballs and fry in oil. Blend sauce ingredients in a saucepan. Heat and stir until melted. Place meatballs in a baking dish. Pour sauce over meatballs and bake in oven for 30 minutes. Serve in sauce over rice.
Göteborg: Sweden
Fattig Riddare
The name apparently means “poor riddle,” and the recipe is favourite way for poor people to use up bread which is getting old. In a dish combine 1 egg, 1 desi liter of milk, and one desi liter of flour. Dip the bread into this mix and fry it. A very similar recipe was submitted by an American under the name “French Toast.” The batter in that one had no flour and also involved nutmeg and cinnamon.
Indian Recipe picked up by a guy from London while traveling
Rogan Josh
Around 600-700 grams of leg of lamb - chopped into bite-sized chunks. GarlicGinger
2 teaspoons salt.
1 teaspoon haldi (turmeric)
3 teaspoons garam masala
2 teaspoons ground coriander
2 teaspoons ground cumin
2 dessert spoons of plain natural yogurt
1 teaspoon of red chile powder
2 medium onions - finely chopped Three-quarters of a tin of peeled plum tomatoes
First pour a couple of tablespoons of vegetable oil into the pot and heat on high until very hot. Throw in the finely chopped onions and stir fry until the pieces start to go soft and translucent. Then throw in garlic and ginger to taste. Add all of the ground spices and continue to fry. The mixture should be rather dry. Leave this for a few minutes frying and then add the lab. Continue to stir fry for around 5 minutes on somewhat high heat until the meat is browned. Chop tinned tomatoes into bite sized pieces if they don't come that way and add them. Stir more and let it cook for a few minutes before adding yogurt. Stir, then turn up the heat. When it boils immediately turn the heat as low as possible and put a lid on it. Half an hour later stir it. Half an hour after that take it off and stir it again. Continue this for an hour and a half. Add salt and chili powder to taste. The curry will now be thicker and redder/browner. Make sure the pieces of lamb are tender and not chewy. Then sprinkle on a generous handful of freshly chopped coriander leaf and stir it in. Let it rest with the lid on for 5 minutes and then serve with naan or rice. Also good with a salad of cucumber, tomato, onions, and carrots with a little lemon or vinegar.
Credit for this recipe to http://www.route79.com/food/rogan-josh.htm
Glasgow: Scotland
Angel Delight
1 part butter, 1 part eggs, three parts flour, one part milk, one part sugar and two parts chocolate powder. Mix these together and put them in the microwave for two minutes.
Canada
Cheesecake
Take graham cracker crumbs and mix them with melted butter. Coat the bottom of a pie dish with these as a crust. In a bowl combine 2 eggs, about 500 mLs of cream cheese, and 6 blocks of baker's white chocolate, two shots of rum and two tablespoons of vanilla. If it is too runny add flour. Mix it until it is an even consistency. Put this in the pie dish and bake at 350C for approximately half an hour until a toothpick comes out clean. We had a long discussion but the omegler is positive that this is 350 C and not 350 F. If your oven doesn't go to 633 F you can cook it on lower for longer.
South Korea
Sweet Potatoes
Wash three sweet potatoes. Cut them into square pieces and soak them in water for a while. Dry the water off the sweet potatoes. Put pieces in a bowl and cover with plastic wrap. Put the bowl in a microwave oven to heat. Fry the pieces in oil. Put an half a cup of water and half a cup of sugar into a pan. Boil the mixture until it turns brown. Put some almonds in. Top the sweet potatoes with sauce. Decorate it with some black sesame seeds.
Quebec: Canada
Veal Chops
Stranger: for veal chops
Stranger: i buy it smash the shit outta it, to tenderise it
Stranger: put it in some flower and fry it
Stranger: its good w/ mash potatos
Stranger: ooo do u fry often?
You: sometimes
Stranger: ok when you wat oil do u use?
You: olive oil?
Stranger: :O
Stranger: dont!
Stranger: use grape see oil
(Seriously? What was wrong with this kid?)
Russia
Borsch
Boil potatoes, onions, celery, carrots, and more vegetables as desired. Boil them until a clear broth is produced. Add sliced beetroot. Serve in a shallow bowl / deep plate. Approximate numbers for an 80 quart pot of boiling water: 3 potatoes, 4 carrots, and 3-5 of each other vegetable.
English kid currently in Holland
Chocolate Pancakes
4 eggs, 1 normal sized cup of milk, 1 normal sized cup of flour, half a cup of yogurt, 2 tablespoons of melted chocolate or chocolate syrup. You can also use heavily chocolate-powdered milk, but if you do the milk will need to be nearly a paste. 2 teaspoons of sugar, 2 teaspoons of baking soda. Mix this all and cook it in a frying pan. If you want little blocks of chocolate instead of chocolate flavor add the chocolate in as the pancake is cooking.
Bangkok: Thailand
Heaven Meat
Stranger: do you know heaven meat ?
You: what?
Stranger: that's my fav food
Stranger: in bkk
You: ok
You: how do you make it?
Stranger: just fried it in the pan
Stranger: with garlic and vegetable oil
You: what kind of meat?
Stranger: dog
(as it turns out this man is a fantastic troll. Dog meat is not legal in Thailand but the story was just too good to pass up, and I particularly enjoyed the graphic detail he later went through in describing me just how to butcher and prepare my pet dog for eating.)
England
Bourbon Biscuits
1/2 stick (2 oz) 50 g butter or margarine
1/4 cup (4 tbsp) 50 g caster sugar (superfine granulated)
1 tbsp golden syrup (substitute light corn syrup)
1 cup (110 g) plain flour (All purpose)
15 g cocoa
1/2 tsp Bicarbonate of soda (Baking soda)
flour for rolling out
fat for greasing 2/3 cup (75 g) icing sugar (confectioners sugar)
1/2 stick (2 oz) 50 g butter or margarine
1 tbsp cocoa
1 tsp coffee essence or 1/2 tsp spoon instant coffee dissolved in 1 tsp water 1. Heat the oven to warm, 160°C, Gas 3.
2. Cream the fat and sugar together very thoroughly; beat in the syrup.
3. Sift the flour, cocoa, and bicarbonate of soda together, and work into the creamed mixture to make a stiff paste.
4. Knead well, and roll out on a lightly floured surface into an oblong strip about 5 mm thick.
5. Cut into two 6 cm fingers.
6. Place on a greased baking sheet covered with greased greaseproof paper.
7. Bake for 15-20 minutes.
Washington DC: USA
Stuffed Mushrooms
Take regular white or brown capped mushrooms. Wash them in the sink and break off the stems. Then prepare the stuffing. Stuffing consists of a sausage (uncooked is acceptable), a finely diced green pepper, an onion (preferably yellow or red), and shredded cheddar. Mix with Italian seasoning salt , pepper and crumbled bacon. Stuff the caps of the mushrooms with the stuffing. Bake the caps at 350 degrees until the sausage is cooked. A broiler pan is recommended as there is a significant amount of grease in this recipe but a normal baking pan works as well.
Chinese student living in Sweden who got this recipe from a French friend
Chocolate Cake 6 people
Ingredients:
- 250g of black chocolate
- 6 eggs
- 120g butter
- 6 spoon of flour
- 75g sugar
- 3 big spoon of water
- to melt chocolate with water slowly
- to add melted butter, sugar and flour, mix them together
- to add just yellow of eggs
- to bear until white of the eggs become bubbly, and add carefully them to the preparation.
- to put some fat (melted butter) in the bottom of the container and pour the preparation inside.
- 25min on the oven 200℃
-the cake is ready when you put a knife in the middle of the cake, you have some chocolate on it but it's not liquid.
Shanxi Province: China
“The Tomato Fries the Egg”
Ingredients 3 Eggs 150 grams of tomato 4 soup spoons of vegetable oil salt MSG 1 soup spoon of sugar
Directions:
1) Clean the tomato with boiling water. Slice it.
2) Crack the eggs into a bowl and add salt. Whip with chopsticks.
3) Put 3 soup spoons of oil into a wok and heat.
4) Add tomato and watch the surplus oil disappear. Saute the slices.
5) Add the sugar and salt to the tomato slices.
6) Turn up the heat and pour the egg over the top of the tomato slices and cook this mixture.
Ireland
Smoked Haddock Fish Soup
2 onions
2 carrots
1 large potato
2 tablespoons butter
1 smoked haddock, 1 ½ to 2 pounds
1 bunch parsley
1 bay leaf
2 cloves garlic
6 cups of water or fish stock
1 sprig thyme
Cream
½ nutmeg, grated
Melt the chopped onion, carrots and peeled potato in butter. Add fish and other ingredients except the cream and the nutmeg. Simmer until the vegetables and fish are cooked. Remove the bones from the fish and return the flesh to the soup. Discard the parsley and thyme and bay leaf. Sieve the soup and reheat. Serve topped with the cream and grated nutmeg.
Brazil
Brigadeiro
Combine one tin of condensed milk, three or four tablespoons of chocolate powder and one tablespoon of butter. The mixture is then heated in a pan on the stove or in a microwave to obtain a smooth, sticky texture. If it is made on the stove, it's ready when the mixture doesn't stick to the bottom when the pan is tilted.
Poland
Neapolitanka
Cook macaroni in half a liter of boiling water. Without draining the pasta add salt, pepper, and a between 300 and 400 grams of heavily processed cheese. This Omegler recommends Hochland cheese but says any heavily processed cheese will do, and also notes you can use different pastas too. Fun fact: “to taste” as in “to prepare something according to your tastes” in Polish is “na oko.”
***
USA
Pasta
Combine carrots, broccoli, mushrooms and a bit of lemon. One meal will use approximately half a lemon. Put a little soy sauce on the broccoli and broil the combination, but be careful to broil the broccoli very lightly. For the sauce buy any cheap tomato sauce from the store and add two teaspoons of salt and two of sugar. Add slices of tomato. Prepare the pasta by boiling water in a pot and then adding the pasta. 15 minutes before you eat grate two cloves of garlic per serving. If you are in a hurry you can slice or grind them, add lemon juice, and let them stand for only five minutes. Add garlic to pasta directly before eating. Serve pasta mixed with vegetable combination and the sauce, topped with basil and your choice of cheese.
***
You: can you help me with a project?Stranger: if you say suck my cock i will beat u with something metal
Many recipes were set ups to jokes of varying hilarity. Apparently a traditional dish in Jamaica is a a scoop of peanut butter covered in oats and rolled into a ball of “go fuck yourself” followed by the user disconnecting. Other recipes could believably be recipes if taken from a heavily chemically induced mind. One very drunk man from the UK attempted to explain how McDonald's apple slices in ketchup tasted exactly like a strawberry milkshake. An individual from Pennsylvania recommends “Ultimate Oreos” which are oreos with chocolate syrup, Hershey's caramel, e-z-cheese, coffee mate, cayenne, ground pepper, omega 3 fish oil and applesauce.
Its worth noting that some portions of Asia have an aversion to the word “recipe.” When I asked for recipes I got called a pervert and a lot of sudden disconnects. I'm not sure what the language barrier issue is, and if anybody can explain this I'd be really happy to know what the hold-up is.
And, on a final note: google translator is fucking hilarious. Here is one of the more intelligible results of a time we had to resort to google translator for communication:
Shanghai: China
Bacon
1, will be a fresh cut to the 56 already long, and then placed on a large water jar (washed unavailable), sprinkled with salt,淋入some liquor, and then sprinkle some star anise, pepper, hot pepper, such as spices;
2, lid and then covered with large stones to salt above pressed. (Be careful Oh rats!) In order for meat evenly, every 12 days is necessary to turn the meat again. A week later, salt, flavor, aroma have penetrated into the meat, the meat and then check out this BBQ.
3, the farm households in Hunan intermediate central room, every winter there is a big fire is not extinguished. Fire ever mounted in a tree a big tree stump in the Root or combustion, fire above it, there was a large iron hook to take-off and landing, hanging pot or kettle tripod for cooking and water heating. Meat to be hung to dry in the beam high above the fire, the smoke rise in the use of fire to naturally be smoked meat. Smoke as a result of this process a long time, slow and full, in addition to burning a lot of tree stumps Root or have a special flavor, it smoked out of this is the real meat taste good!
So there you have it. Next time you have a tree stump you feel like burning in your living room for a whole winter and an iron hook for take-off and landing, you can apparently take the opportunity to make traditional Chinese bacon.
PS: a part of me really hopes somebody slipped a "stupid foreigner" title into one of those foreign language titles. If you tricked me sir, my hat is off to you!
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